


shizaya but it's set the novel i wrote myself

by ThresherShark



Category: Durarara, Nychtaoulik
Genre: M/M, dont read this if you like drrr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 11:19:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18445496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThresherShark/pseuds/ThresherShark
Summary: Avery asked for this so you can't say that nobody did. Also I have not read drrr in like 5 years. My OCs will not be explained in story; it helps with the immersion. There IS A LEMONY SCENE GO AWAY IF YOU AREN'T 18! RUN! RUN WHILE YOU'RE STILL YOUNG! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO READ SOMETHING NICE OR YOU WILL LIVE IN REGRET AS MY SIBLING DOES it's not a very good scene





	shizaya but it's set the novel i wrote myself

Izaya X Shizuo in My Novel's Universe   
Chapter 1  
Shizuo looked around the forest. All he could see was trees, not a common sight in his city. At least, not in this quantity. When was the last time he got out like this? But more importantly,  
How did I get here?  
He wandered around lost for hours, looking for something, anything, that even remotely resembled his home, Japan. Coming out into a clearing, ge could see something pink on the horizon. Were those sakura? (Translators note, sakura means cherry blossom tree!)  
He climbed the hill, reaching the house which seemed to be built of stone slabs. They were indeed sakura, and there was nothing odd about that, but the house itself was strange. It was too short for a human. After a worried hesitation, he prepared his mind, and dropped to his knees. Pushing the curtain door over, he looked inside. There was a relaxed-looking white wolf sitting there, but that's not where Shizuo's eyes were first drawn.  
"Shizu-chan!"  
"IIIIZAAAAAYAAAA-KUUUUUN...." the blond man tensed seeing his foe, but he made no move to attack; Izaya was a familiar foe.  
"Hey" the talking wolf said "I'm Zahi."  
Shizuo didn't care. "I... Izaya-kun... where are we?"  
"United State of Confusion, so I'm told..." Izaya's voice was laced with his usual fake passive tone "It seems we are not on the same planet as we were yesterday, or the same universe, for all I know..."  
"That's impossible. You're fucking with me. He's fucking with me" he turned to the wolf, feeling the dread set in. He was talking to a wolf.  
"That sounds personal" Zahi did a lil anime sweatdrop.  
"No, I meant... where is Japan?"  
"Huh?"  
"You just did a sweatdrop we invented those!"  
"Nani?"  
"YOU JUST SPOKE JAPANESE"  
"I'm afraid I do not know what you're talking about..."  
"It's true," Izaya cut in "don't you think I would have asked him that already? I've been here for hours."  
"Why here?"  
"Same as you, I presume. The cherry blossoms..."

[8:40 PM] orphicat: i ma lready pgonna piss  
[8:40 PM] orphicat: hepl im laughing too hard  
[8:40 PM] orphicat: im doing the wheezy hting  
[8:41 PM] orphicat: o hgod

[8:55 PM] Shark: Chapter 2  
It was the most peaceful Shizuo and Izaya had ever been around each other in... well, forever. After a while of discussion, all either could remember was a faint flashback of some american teen pointing a gun at a sexy, sexy fishman. Without answers, Zahi suggested that they go to the library.  
Izaya turned the map around in his hands "Gee, Shizu-chan... I think this library is in the middle of the ocean..."  
"Let me see that!" Shizuo demanded, snatching the paper and scanning it with his orbs "... Looks like it. Maybe there's a ferry."  
They held onto that hope as they walked through the city of mismatched buildings, occupied by talking animals who all stared at them like they were strange.  
"I would kill you, but I'm sure this is just a nightmare..." Shizuo grumbled.  
"Da boss?!" a purple motherfucker scampered out of a nearby alleyway, only to be punted by a surprised Shizuo. A white cat(???) drifted out, following the flying motherfucker with closed eyes.  
"Wow, Shizu, way to be a nice guy..." Izaya rolled his eyes, and as if his nonchalance about the situation restored the motherfucker, he scampered back over to them in a heartbeat.  
"The fuck wuz up wit dat?!" he tapped his foot on the ground in irritation "That's gonna cost ya, buddy"  
"All I have are the clothes on my back"  
"Kay?"  
"......"  
"......."  
".....?? Uh..."  
"Fork em over or I will eat yer soul!" he spat "Haven't you heard of me? I'm the infamous Ignite, devourer of souls-"  
"Yeah, don't care"  
"My associate Stalker over there, he eats dicks"  
"O-"  
"Now hurry up before the cops get 'ere. I don't have all day!"  
"Fine." Shizuo huffed, stripping off his vest and shirt, handing it over to the motherfucker.  
"Sick" Ignite said, putting the vest on Stalker.  
Izaya, hoping to be a butt, did not keep walking "Do you know how to get here?" he showed Ignite the map.  
"Let's go before it takes more of our clothes." Shizuo growled.  
"I'll get ya there for a price"  
"I can offer Shizu's pants"  
"That'll be enough for him, and you?"  
"Uhh..."  
Ignite put his sticky little paw in Izaya's coat pocket, stealing his knife. "This suits my aestetic juuust fine, dontcha think, Stalker? Now, pants?"  
"In my underwear?" Shizuo complained  
"Most of us don't got any clothes" Ignite reminded impatiently "Y'oughtta think harder about runnin around downtown in such sweet digs."  
"There had better not be any humans around here..." Shizuo grumbled, dropping his pants, so he was just in his tighty whities.  
"No wonder he's so cranky. His panties are on too tight!" Izaya exclaimed  
"Hahahahaha, what are those?" Ignite asked, and the four got moving!

[9:04 PM] orphicat: hhhhh  
[9:13 PM] Shark: Chapter 3  
"This way!" Ignite stumbled to the seaside, pants way too long for his near lack of legs. Shizuo was already shivering, teeth gritted in cold and rage.  
"This," Ignite began, having heard their tale "is the ocean!"  
"No!" Izaya pretended to not know that, enjoying himself despite having lost his knife. Perhaps it was the sight of an angry, naked Shizuo? He loved to get under his skin.  
"I'm gonna have to get one of my contacts to get'cha over, and from the sound of it, our usual gal won't cut it. Nope, if she even tried ta lookatcha, you'd be vaporized most likely, or somethin' like that. Cease to exist, maybe? I dunno. Just hope she doesn't try n pop in. Sensitive eyes, y'anno?"  
"N...nnhg..." Shizuo didn't like that.  
"Aight buddy, I'm gonna pray a lil to the supervisor...." Ignite's eyes closed, and he looked very focused for a moment "Y... yeah, put the boss on the line. Don't think of even lookin' at me for a sec, kay? Yeah, tell ya later. .... Oh heyyyy guuurrrl! Hotbutt! Yeah okay I got a biggie to ask, but get this, I'm gettin PANTS outta the deal, and I'll let ya in em! ... Yes, I know what that means, of course.... yeah you'll get to wear em, what did you think? ... Whatever, whatever, can ya get me a god that IS NOT Night, one that can get someone to the library? Oh shit, yeah, the big guy's good. Perfect! Free? Ha! They don't even have legs! Right! K luv ya, buh-bye."  
Izaya and Shizuo, for once, had the same dumbfounded expression on.  
"She always hangs up first!" Ignite chuckled, but it was unclear who it was directed at "Oh yeah, she's sending Mystic. Shouldn't take long..."  
Suddenly, a 6-headed shark pouring gay energy out of it emerged from the water. Each head was a different color, and while it didn't seem like it would speak, it did, through the red mouth "ALL ABOARD, BITCH"  
Izaya was hesitating. Without his blade, he felt a bit less confident, and it was a giant fucking shark dragon. This though, boosted Shizuo's confidence.  
"Heh, what, you scared of it?"  
"You go in it's chest-mouth first." Izaya shot back, but boarded Mystic's back, followed by Shizuo.  
The heads seemed to be bickering about whether or not to just go there by teleportation or enjoy the nice night. They clearly weren't going to ask the passengers. An immortal being had a lot of time, so the speed at which they moved meant nothing to them, but it meant a lot to Shizuo,.  
"Give me your coat." Shizuo demanded "You got my pants stolen by the purple asshole."  
"Hmmm... no." Izaya replied, but Shizuo had no soft spot for him, only hard. He pinned the unarmed, cornered Izaya, and easily stole his coat. It was too twinkish to fit around Shizuo's arms, so he wrapped it around his shoulders, absorbing Izaya's body heat.  
"Well at least" Izaya grumbled, feeling how cold it was. He climbed into Shizuo's arms, forcing a hug.  
"Fuck off, what are you, hugging me?!"  
"Just like you disrobed me, Shizu-chan~" Izaya purred sharply.  
Worried that the other was somehow important in the quest though, they both held onto each other, tightly...  
Chapter 4  
Eventually, Mystic dropped the two men off at the library's doorstep. An owl in a hat came from inside, and dropped the mug that neither man knew how he was carrying on the cobble. "H... humans?!?!? Oh no... Oh no no no, you can't be here. You're extinct, your world, it ended... e... eons ago!" he ushered them inside "Quickly, come quickly, you must come in... she doesn't like it here..."  
Once inside, they were stared down by more talking animals, but these ones were magic this time.  
"Guests, my friend?" Lenny asked Stars, setting down his book. The dog looked concerned. Shizuo had no idea how he was reading a dog's expression.  
"Let's discuss it over dinner."  
It had been a while since Shizuo and Izaya had eaten, not even once since arriving here, and they were surprised to see some familiar cuisine on the table. It tasted a little off, but more or less, it was still pie. They explained their situation to the others, and that Shizuo needed new clothes. Soon, Izaya had his coat back, and Shizuo was wearing a slutty bathrobe nobody else seemed to think looked slutty.  
"I will research what to do, if you two want to relax for a while, the only room off limits is my restroom, and don't try to climb the stairs in the room back there" Stars offered.  
The men split, intentionally going different directions. Shizuo went back to the library, and looked at some books, disinterested. Izaya wandered into a courtyard, and found somewhere to sit. His coat smelled like Shizuo. His stomach turned, but he was pretty sure that it was just his anxiety about the situation, and not gay thoughts about the journey. Oh how he loved to feel Shizuo's forceful hands on him, and then, his tender embrace.... Nope, something I ate.  
"So... who are you guys?" Shizuo decided to try and talk to the locals.  
"Dusk, this is my bestie Dawn, my man Silver, and her girl Crystal" the talking owl that had no hat said.  
"Your--?"  
"Gay." Dusk would be grinning if he could move his beak.  
"O... oh."  
"That your man back there?" Dusk asked, teasingly  
"NO!!!"  
"Woah!"  
"We always fight."  
"Like rivals?" Silver asked, not looking up from his reading.  
"Err. Sort of."  
"That's the first base for angry gays."  
"GH-" With that, Shizuo excused himself to the dining room again, where he sat alone. It was hours before Stars called everyone else back to the table.  
Chapter 5  
"I can not think of any other way that might get you home than to be taken by the Skyworm."  
"Hehh????" Shizuo leaned over the table, glasses sliding down his nose a bit.  
"I am not sure if it will work, but they may try... if BLACKHOLE can take anyone into the timeless void, it only seems natural that the Skyworm can bring you anyplace else." Stars sighed "But you will risk your life... but staying here, you risk your existence. At any moment, our Goddess could try to perceive you... but you are past the limits of her domain. Normally, this only manifests in falling deaf on her ears, but I worry about the safety of something tangible. This may be your last night alive."  
They were offered a singular room, and not wanting to impose, they accepted sharing... or perhaps, they did not want to be alone.  
"Not existing, huh..." Izaya broke the silence, lying on his back in an uneven single bed.  
"Scared?"  
"No"  
"Liar." Shizuo scoffed.  
"Then you're scared, hm, Shizu-chan?"  
"... I never prepared myself for this. Like, having one night left. You know, death comes in an instant. Sometimes it comes with an expectancy, but... I don't have a bucket list to fulfill, or the means to."  
"... Sad because you're going to die a virgin, aren't you?"  
"What was that, you bastard?!?!?!?!?!?!?"  
"Hahaha, oh, you're so fun to tease, Shizu-chan..." Izaya sighed "We never did get to kill each other."  
"I was going to kill you, one way."  
"I was trying to compromise. Don't be so mean." Izaya rolled over to face Shizuo "Unless it's true, a worm can save us."  
"I don't believe in any shitty worm..." Shizuo grumbled.  
Izaya got up and walked over "Then fight me one more time, huh?"  
"Without your knife?" Shizuo sneered  
"Heh" Izaya grinned. He was quickly grabbed by the neck, taken down, and pinned.  
Shizuo had his fist poised to put through Izaya's skull, but... his muscles untensed. "No... not like this. This isn't how I wanted to happen. I wanted... Simon and all those gangsters to see... I wanted the city to see... just how weak you are."  
"Well, then what are you going to do with me? You've got me... right where you want me, right?"  
"Grr... stop making this gay"  
"It's your robe making this gay, Shizu-chan... I can see your manhood pressing against your..."  
It was true. Shizuo had popped a massive boner. His dinglydonger was right big and hot for none other than Izaya. Maybe he didn't want to die a virgin.  
"It's okay, Shizuo.... you caught me... take me.... you've earned it..." Izaya breathed, stroking the blond's leg, his butthole flexing in his pants.  
Against his better judgement, Shizuo yanked his robe away, and lost his underwear. He went for Izaya's clothes next, tossing them to the floor, and mounting the little twink in them. They had no lube and I'm not gonna pretend like there was any lubricants lying around in my imaginary school, so he went in dry, Shizuo's chainsaw dick ripping into Izaya's assblood until it was in far enough. He thrusted a few times, and started to realize what he was doing, getting Izaya's shit all over his dick. But then, something glinting on the floor caught his attention...  
A second knife.  
Izaya had been armed this whole time.  
With the realization, Shizuo began absolutely POUNDING that anus, giving Izaya the best nut of his life, and filling him with all his homo juices.   
"Haaa haHAaaahhhhh NNNnnnnn MmMmMmmmmmph,,," Izaya sexed.

[9:55 PM] Snoodle: .......  
[9:55 PM] Snoodle: //runs back out//  
[10:03 PM] Shark: Chapter 6  
Shizuo woke up with Izaya in his arms. He acted on instinct, and tossed the other onto the floor.  
"Ow! Shizu-chan, that's no way to treat a lover" Izaya huffed, getting up. "After I let you destroy my asshole..."  
"S... this doesn't leave this room, but... sorry." Shizuo grumbled, reluctantly accepting he was equally responsible for their sexual encounter the night before.  
"Make it up to me~" Izaya prodded, pressing his pelvis to Shizuo's cheek.  
Relenting, Shizuo sucked Izaya's dick for breakfast.  
Soon, they both dressed again, and walked-and staggered, in Izaya's case, back downstairs.  
"Ah, there you two are. Care to join me for breakfast?" Stars greeted "Take as muuuch as you'd like."  
"Oh, Shizu-chan already ate" Izaya joked, sitting after getting elbowed in the ribs.  
Shizuo almost forgot that he might die that day. He lost his appetite, but ate a decent breakfast so that jizz wouldn't be his last meal.  
"The worm is out in the courtyard, when you're ready" Stars said.  
"Where's the.."  
"That door" Izaya knew where he meant. They ate in silence until they were done.   
They approached the door, and stopped. Izaya looked at Shizuo's face "... Are you ready?"  
Shizuo sucked in a breath, and paused. Was he? He swooped down, and planted a romantic kiss on Izaya's stupid mouth, and grabbed his hand. "Let's go."  
Together, they walked out, and faced Wingwingwingwing, the Mighty Skyworm, may he live forever and ever.  
"Oh hai guyz," Wingwingwingwing greeted "can you see my butthole?"  
"Wh...." Shizuo could not see the end of the worm "N... no??"  
"That's a good sign! Okay, here I go!" the Skyworm opened his awful maw "I have to vore you!"  
"wait, what?" were Izaya's last words before he got vacuumed into the worm's mouth.  
It felt like an eternity of moist darkness.... then finally, Shizuo and Izaya were shat out on Earth, in the year 1974.  
"Crap, this is the 70s!" Shizuo complained "and the title just says that other world! We're going to be left here!"  
"Damn..." Izaya sighed, smelling his sleeve to see if it smelled like god worm colon.  
the end fuck you


End file.
